This is the third time I am re-writing this mail. So I apologize if this mail does not put a wide grin on your face as the previous emails did, or like someone is supposed to do because today is Valentine's and you might as well be alone today. Single like the Iroko tree, just tough on the outside perhaps you might have someone that would make you smile today. That feeling! The rush and birth of butterflies in your tummy, the feeling that raises a thousand giant goosebumps all over.
So pardon me because I have been in love too frequently than I can remember
It is astonishing how meaningless a person could be to you when you first meet them. The symptoms never show, like heaven stars in the day, and slowly, you stray away into their life, like a lost lamb without a Shepherd.
Late-night calls and strange moods begin to creep in. You stare at your phone a little longer. You catch yourself laughing like a child in her mother’s arms. Are you not in yours anyways?
And coincidence after another, your world begins to wither, the walls you had raised so high, lower effortlessly at their whispers. Not long again can you fight? And as your world withers, you begin to grow into theirs.
You long and crave to be the person they want, even if costs you a pound of flesh, a price you’d pay again and again. Nietzsche said, ‘If you stare into the Abyss for so long, you become the abyss’. So, their world and wars become yours. To see them smile you battle your demons.
But you do not know it yet until someday, they are absent either choice or not, now you realize the world you live in has not been yours but another’s. And you do not seem to fit in anymore, like Arsenal in the champions league.
So, you become miserable, like a basket at the ocean’s shores, thirsty for something you cannot have.
I hope you find love and if you do not. Then you do not. When is life ever fair?
Happy Valentine's Day 💕.