" Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

George Bernard Shaw

Long ago, before I found myself.

Like every man once was, I was neither lost nor astray but rather unconscious, yet to awaken who I could become, so I was "undefined," like a variable with no value.

To be fair, I never fit into many classes as I did grow up; at one point, I was the short, skinny kid; another description would be the kid with the "R" factor, who also consistently maintained poor grades.

The beauty of it all was that I was an introvert, and I still am, and growing up as an introvert is dreadful, even though it has its undiluted perks; however, there are shitloads of internal battles I had to fight, and self-doubt would constantly take a dump on me as well; the devil of it all is the inability to express one's self explicitly.

One time, my then-girlfriend was snatched away by the most artistic pupil in the school. What choice did I have? Lol, I had just repeated a class at the time; I was demoted from his class to her class. hahaha. I was not even supposed to be thinking about love at that time, but the heart wants what it wants.

One thing is certainly clear: this is a very difficult pill I have taken too long to swallow, I am a goddam late bloomer, and men my age have a double-digit body count, I can only dream about hitting my first even number.

Looking back on my past, I'm grateful for the struggles I faced and the person they have made me today. As a late bloomer, I was often left feeling left behind in comparison to my peers. However, it was only when I learned to embrace the individual journey that I began to see my unique strengths and abilities.

Being an introvert was difficult for me at first, but it allowed me to cultivate a deep sense of introspection and self-awareness. I spent a lot of time reflecting on my thoughts and feelings, which in turn made adulting much easier to handle.

Looking back, I realize that my experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. I may have been a late bloomer, but I've come to realize that there's no set timeline for personal growth and development. Everyone's journey is different, and it's important to embrace your unique path.

Over time, I've learned that life is not a race, but a journey. It's easy to feel like you're falling, but sometimes you have to fall or break a limb or two. Often, the cost of being whole necessitates being broken.

Only broken horses know how to run.